Fairness? Who is Fairness? Is she also on this conference call?

And I thought it was only bright-eyed bushy-tailed law students who thought about concepts of fairness. And professionalism.

I was on a conference call yesterday with a supplier's employee about a customer contract.

"So the customer said it was okay that they have not received our deliverables. We are quite late but it's not our fault. We told customer already."

"Is there any confirmation in writing?"

"No, but they told us already it was okay"

"So it's your word against theirs?"

"Yes, but it would be unfair for them to penalise us after they said it was okay."

"But the contract does not qualify your obligation to deliver."

"Yes, but it would not be professional for them to insist on penalising us after they said it was okay. This would be unfair. They cannot act so unprofessionally."

I wanted to say, Dude, please wake up and smell the belachan. You are how old already. You never buy house meh? You never buy lottery ticket meh? Of course it is unfair - some people buy lottery tickets all their lives and still never win. I buy once only and I win (yes! it's true! I won $50!). What are you going to do when you are sued by the customer? Call the police? Call your mother? WA LAO EH.

But of course I couldn't say that. I just told him that the customer is entitled to rely on the terms of the contract THAT THE SUPPLIER ALSO SIGNED (slight volume increase).

I think it was, like, 1 month into pupillage when I realised that no one in the working world talks about fairness or professionalism unless they stand to benefit from someone acting fairly or professionally. Otherwise it's all in the contract, bud. Which is not to say people don't act professionally or fairly in the real world, just that they don't go on and on about it. But the big picture is, and always has been, "SHOW ME THE MONEY". I had a minor epiphany when Tom Cruise said it, shouted it, SHRIEKED it, in Jerry Maguire. It's the biggest truth of all. That's what it's all about. Want to know the outcome of any corporate action? Want to know how people are going to react to legal issues? commercial issues? Which way a negotiation will turn? Just think "Show Me The Money".

In other news, someone put soya sauce and sesame seeds on my chee kweh today. Almost fainted.